Getting through struggles

I'm not who I was - a year ago, even a day ago.  I've met many people who are resistant to change, thinking that it implies some kind of loss of identity or personality we've become comfortable with. I think our inherent nature remains intact through transformation in our life and, in fact, becomes more free to be expressed as we grow, learn and uncover that true expression.

We go through various experiences that brought us to a shift in our life. Occasionally it'll come in the form of epiphany, revelation or realization but most of the shifts in our life are slight, incremental and gradual.  In the midst of them, these shifts go unnoticed but looking back, if we are aware, we can see how those experiences moved us, changed us.
In my coaching with participants of NextGen Academy, I find that, when someone is challenged by
an event or process they're going through, I'll ask them if they have struggled with anything in the last few months; and I also inquire if they feel they are any different, or have a different perspective on their life since that time began. Invariably, the answer to both is yes.
When we are in the middle of an experience, it's hard to get perspective on it - most often our emotions are piqued in some way. When our emotions are up, usually our intellect is down - it's hard to think straight or know what to do.  This is why it's good to train our mind to accept both the good and bad as an opportunity - a flip-side of the same coin. It is only good or bad because we judge it so.
Once we've survived, though, we most often come away with a lesson. If we're looking.
Imagine I put my hand in front of your eyes.  You may believe that what you are seeing is the whole 'me', when in fact it is just my hand. If my hand represents your current problem, you'll need to get some space from it in order to see the bigger picture. It's hard to do though, when wrapped up in the emotional attachment to the problem staring us in the face.
So, what to do?
Breathe - deep breaths clear the mind, lower the emotions and calm us down.
Gratitude focuses the mind and heart on the gifts that are already there. Practice an attitude of Gratitude.
Practice seeing things from a different perspective, either through intentional thought, prayer or meditation - "Is there a higher point of view? What does the other person see? Is it possible that I am being given this experience to help me avoid an even bigger challenge?"
Avoid judgment. "This is bad, that person is wrong, I am a failure, this isn't fair, etc"

Remember that the times you grew the most in the past were most often in times when you were challenged and so realize that, if you are struggling right now, chances are you're about to have a realization leading to your growth. This is an opportunity, not a punishment or tragic disaster.
And then, when we realize something, gain some perspective, some clarity - a sense of calm, of grace comes upon us.
Then, we're ready for the next lesson. :)

This is just my experience in life. What do you think?

Blessings, 

Jeff